haish.
this is the dk how many time i'm talking abt this...
BUT.
WHYWHYWHY.
not i want to talk abt this, but, haish...
i feel that my body is getting, weaker.
idk why lar...
just like on thursday, during choir.
halfway, i felt so giddy, hard to breathe, and like going to faint.
haish.
i'm scared that it's cos of my heart condition...
i'm scared that i cant take it much longer...
i dont want to tell my parents.
cos my mum's diabeties is worsening...
they're alrdy worried enough.
i dont want them to worry abt me.
cos, they'll worry alot alot, which i dun want.
they'll say i'm their beloved daughter that's why they worry so much.
bt i srsly dun want them to worry abt me.
cos they're sick too.
even tho they've only started being sick when they became adults...
which is natural...
while for my case, is diff, i'm born to be sick.
well, so i know i'm just trouble to them.
every yr, they have to accompany me to the hospital, just for that stupid check up telling me i'm fine...
esp my mum.
she's always bringing me thr.
and, it was thx to me, she's sick now.
all those illness only appeared after she gave birth to me.
she had so much hopes on me, bt i'm such a disappointment.
i've nvr rly did her proud.
other than getting first in class in p2 and getting a stupid 248 + 2 for psle.
and, those are like, no big deal?
even tho i'm the most talented person in my family, so what.
i cant make use of them.
when i'm given chance to improve on my talents, i throw them away.
anw, back to the topic.
i srsly dk what's gonna happen.
and i rly dk when will my condition worsen, srsly...
idk lar.
my skin allergy is getting worst too...
i feel so sick and tired...
and i've been getting headaches recently...
maybe i'll collapse soon...
idk...
i rlyrlyrly dk...
maybe someday my blood vessels wun be able to take it...
and then i'll die, in pain.
idk...
i want to be healthy.
i rly want to be...
why must god do this to me.
i'm the only hope for my parents, and i'm like, born to be so unhealthy.
give them trouble only...
nvr even give them hope.
if only i have a sibling...
then they wun have such high expetations on me.
then i dun have to worry abt my stupid heart condition.
haish.
life sucks.
BYE